Well.... Not exactly, but he asked me things like "Why do Women feel they need to come together and talk about us?" (referring to men), and "I thought it was about unity?" And "So what if guys did this, you wouldn't like that!" and "Okay well, Why can't we join you?"
I have been putting the intention out to The Universe to start a Women's circle starting in April, so us Women can come together, to celebrate ourselves, to support each other, to trust each other, to love and hear each other and to be in OUR truth as Women. To embrace the Divine Feminine, The Goddess within, to connect with the Moon Cycles and our very own cycles.
Growing up, I've always been in competition with other women, I've been betrayed, I've betrayed and I would compare, I didn't feel enough inside. And that manifested into myself being "the other woman", and lots of other "inferior roles" as a girl and woman...
I'm sure some of you women reading this can relate... And That's just not why we are here. That is not why we chose to come down to this planet.
We came here to serve a beautiful purpose AS WOMEN, AS ONE!
During this eye opening conversation, I came from a place of fear, and anger. I felt powerless, because to me, it HAS always been a mans world, it was always limiting for me as a girl, I was only good for one thing.
How could someone tell me it's wrong for me to create a circle for women? Who the fuck did he think he was to question me!? I want nothing but to HELP and SERVE! I was so angry.
Maybe he felt threatened.... Who fucking knows. I do know that speaking my truth triggered an unhealed wound in him, and he brought up an unhealed wound in myself as well! - Gosh did he ever !
I went deeper into this feeling that was lingering inside me for a long time. Feeling insecure of being a woman, getting shut down, Being vulnerable.... So I dove deeper this evening;
"Feeling Powerless" .... What does this mean to me, to be powerless?
It meant that I was unworthy, It meant that I was vulnerable, which can give someone the opportunity to hurt me. It meant that I brought nothing, and if I had something, that can be taken away from me.
Instead of blaming him. I went inside. I had this unconscious belief , that I don't bring much to the table, that failure defines me as a person.
I felt unheard.
So what part of me doesn't listen to myself? That doesn't listen to others? What's the root cause?
Feeling unheard goes back to many memories with my father. I was raised to feel inferior to men, that men make all the decisions and that "Dad is always right" and "Don't make Dad angry" ... Aha ... SO what can I do now to BE in my power? What can I do now to not give it away anymore?
The answer is simple, Unity.
I MUST bring Women together to help them ignite their Goddess Energy.
And to be honest, there is not much action I can take until I love myself completely, and love myself exactly as I am.
The answer to healing this aspect of myself is...
Flow... to Change.
I was so afraid of change.
.... What am I so afraid of by being myself? And why am I limiting myself? Why am I identifying with my story, with my pain and suffering ?
And the answer is that I felt that I may be nothing without it. Without my story.
I no longer feel bad for myself. I Am proud, and I take Full responsibility.
And the truth is;
I Am something!
Of course I Am lovable,
Of course I Am worth something!
I Am love.
I Am a Woman!
I Am a Goddess.
I Am a Priestess.
I can feel,
I Am a natural nurturer, a natural healer.
I create life,
I Am life .... And so is everyone else.
I no longer allow the opinions and beliefs of others, dictate what I think I am and what I can offer this planet. Because it's just not true. It's been a lie I've been telling myself for such a long time, that has manifested into situations like this one.
The process doesn't stop here though, the journey doesn't stop here... I can say all the positive things I want to make myself feel better. True breakthroughs happen when you dive deep within, and take full responsibly for attracting what ever it is that's in your space, Positive or Negative. I am so grateful for this guy showing me this unhealed wound. I truly am.
When I learn to be at peace with myself, and accept and approve, When I SURRENDER, that's when opinions won't matter to me.
Us Women are so Sacred, We Are Love, We Are Truth and Unity. We Are SO Connected. And to be honest, it's not about equal rights to me, it's about Respect. Respect for both the feminine and the masculine, it's not about being better, it's about acknowledging that we need each other.
When we come together as one, when we release the Ego, when we no longer give a fuck about being right... That's when Peace will be in every part of our lives; when there is peace within. When there is Space within for opportunity to happen,
"New Beginnings can only happen to Us when we consciously choose to let go of things that no longer serve us, that have not brought us anything , when we see that we CAN do SO MUCH to serve this planet. When we SHOW UP to our Purpose!"
Next time We are triggered, let's dive deep, release it to the Universe, feel the shift, and allow love,
because you only deserve it as much as you believe YOU do .