I'd be lying to you if I said I was completely healed. I would be not showing up completely to my purpose, if I said I didn't wake up some days wanting to kill myself still. I'd be lying to you if I said that I don't experience any memory of being raped or wanting to die.
But what I can tell you ... is that I AM HEALING. And that this journey, is absolutely worth it. And I'm here to remind you, if you're dealing with any of what I've dealt with... this isn't it... this doesn't have to be your life if you don't want it to.
I've been doing the work. I've been showing up for myself in ways that I never thought I'd be able to do. Sharing my experiences and what I'm doing now that helps me, is such a blessing. Because all the shit that went down, makes these moments of supporting you so worth it. It makes clear messages from my guides and the Universe so worth it, because I live in a place of truth.
It wasn't easy ... But it got easier when I decided that I was worth living :)
It's been a little bit over a year when I made the choice to live... to actually Live. And when I say live, I mean I completely stopped drinking and using, took a well deserved break from the clubs, and just dove right into healing myself, and asking ...
What am I Here to Do?
Last year, I was drinking heavily, was doing drugs, preferably cocaine, for 3 days non-stop in a row, and was just raped in March 2016. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I began stripping at the age of 17 years old, and was not going to the club to make the money anymore, I was going there to get trashed, to get high and to numb myself. I didn't know what I was, or why I was even here.
The 1 year anniversary showed me how far I've come. but it couldn't show me how far I've come, without showing me and reminding me of where I was, who I was and what I had to experience to understand my purpose... and then to go ahead and live it.
There are parts of me that are still healing... that are still trying to get through it. And although I am choosing love within myself, that doesn't mean that I don't experience old trauma, and old wounds. I wanted to share this with you, that if you're like me, and you've experienced deep sexual shame or womb trauma, I invite you sister, to make the choice to say YES to yourself, YES to living a happy and meaningful life and YES to your womb. I invite you now to decide and choose yourself in this moment, to show up in this moment as you are, no matter what you think you've done or what's happening in your life.
Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your womb space & say these words, and say them often!
I AM SO ENOUGH IN THIS MOMENT...
I AM SO WORTHY OF LIFE!
I AM DEEPLY LOVED BY THE GODDESS...
I AM ALWAYS TAKEN CARE OF ...
I ALWAYS ASK + TUNE INTO MY TRUTH!
AND SO IT IS!
Sister, I bow to you for showing up right now. Sometimes we get uncomfortable when we're not use to doing or saying something to, or for ourselves. But we must make the uncomfortable, comfortable. When I first began this journey, I was a hot mess... I was proud that I had stopped drinking... but, I was still haunted and had deep deep shame for some of the choices that I'd made, and for the horrific things that had happened to me.
On my journey, there were many things that had happened to me, many choices that I'd made that had caused serious womb trauma. I've have noticed within myself, and in many other women, 3 experiences that cause us to feel really horrible about ourselves and that causes serious womb trauma. These 3 things are, Sexual Shame, Abortion and Sexual Abuse + Rape. And whether you have experienced all of these, or non of these, tuning into the womb, learning to love yourself in moments of deep shame, and getting witnessed, will get you in the right direction of what self - love means, and why truly, on a soul level, any womb trauma has occurred in the first place.
And that is what I have to offer you at this time!
I invite you sister, to the FREE 3 Day Womb Workshop to transmute womb trauma caused by Sexual Shame, Abortion and Sexual Abuse + Rape.
.. Please watch video below to get initiated ..
If you're one of many women who don't know how to integrate this kind of trauma ... who don't know how to move on and live in that place of love... if you don't think you deserve to feel love. If you've experienced rape, or abortion or any type of sexual shame, this is for you.
This is a Free 3 Day Live Womb Workshop to get witnessed and to be loved as you are. A chance to share your story, a serious deep; dive into your womb so you could walk this path of acceptance and unconditional love for yourself, and your experiences.
I'm not saying I have all the answers, I'm inviting you to bare your soul with me so we can witness each other and reach that level of awareness that will help you to live from that place of purpose and acceptance. There is deep love and purpose in this kind of trauma and shame. And I will be holding that space for you, so you can see this truth.